The past few daes hv been harsh for mii..

My sleep is getting lesser and lesser…

Ytd was>.<

I juz doesn’t understand it

Wad is so hard bout juz doing a simple duty.

Simple instruction oso cant listen

Somemore I excuse them to so much things

I even excuse them for recess duty so tat they can eat

And perform the duties to their best of their ability

Miss ang never sae “ok”

And I gv them the green light

Protect their stomach, but who protect my ears

Since the dae I bcum the head councillor

How much ass-es had i covered for the councillors

The things tat they had done wrong or wad

I juz forgive and forget(they nvr even appreciate)

Tho I gt to bear the scoldings

Once thr is project going on,

My scoldings will be double

Even triple>.<

And my sleep is everydae average 3 and a half hour

Wth!!!

Super tired can

All I gt in returns is disappointment and scoldings

And for those who are irresponsible

Not contributing to the council

Everytime inform stuff only at the v last min

I oso let them off

Then I cover the shit work

Its not the soul tat is holding mii

But the will…

I simply gt to move on

Whether I like it or not

I really feels tat I doesn’t hv a soul anymore

I m damn tired

I alr quit my medication

So I got tired real fast

I get tired 2 or maybe more times than normal ppl

But I still bear the tiredness to move on

U think I m stupid?

Everytime do things myself

Its not I wan it

Coz partly I wan u guys to have a good rest

The other reason is,

I dun wan u guys to clear shit work

Coz I dun think its fair

(although u will ask,

So its fair 4 mii larr..)

But….

Councillors alr like shit

Not coz they no standard

Its coz they dun wan to show the standard

Even collecting everything after the amazing race its so hard

Seriously doesn’t noe wad’s wrong with them

And I end up re-doing the stations clue and stuff

After tons of tons of scolding

Mood alr like shit

But immediately

I gt to change my face

And lead on the sch and the council

I really feel like a clown sometimes

Or a puppet

Dun care which is which

But I noe its not the ivy I noe

Ytd was really like shit

The worst I had ever encounter in wdl life

I cried over the phone w rofina

For ard 1/2hr

She saes I m too nice le

She even ask mii to quit the job

Said I had enof

(Coz she understands my health)

But who is left for miss ang??

And I dun wan to be irresponsible

Since I alr took up this post

I gt to gv in my best no matter wad

And serve the sc for one yr

this morning go sch really like zombie

coz ytd do till midnight

thn summore i got training..

so double the tiredness

(so busy tat i 4get my meals)

thn gt to go for learning journey

knocked of in the bus immediately tat kind

doesnt even hv strengh to carry bag

todae goes extremely well for the orientation

i feel damn good!!!

finally hard work pays off

altho only half of them

but still...

juz now dad said i hv been skipping doctors appointment

got to get my ass back thr

but i scared the doc will discover tat my health is deteriorating

coz i alr feels tat way

nvm

i juz gt to stay stong for another 3 mths

ohhh yeaa..

and juz now ivy's dad sae

he todae went to our family doctor

and saw one patient

she keep on jerking and vibrate once everywhile

already been to lots of neutrologist

but still cant find the reason

but our doctor juz discovered it

said its coz the gal's blood doesnt contatin

glucose and carbohydrate

thn again>.<

my dad warn mii..

my blood its working like..

it dies off even b4 it reaches my brain

the red blood cell cant even carry oxygen..

so in return

is bottles and bottles of medications

ps..

beeeee..

i will look after myself

i noe wad i m doing to myself

really,,,

and i really did not cry last nite

i mean i cried b4 tat

but not when i calll u

( u think i dare to call u while i crying?/)

i simply too tired to even tok

u dun nid to feel sad, pity, angry at mii

i choose the way myselff...

but i can promise u

i wont work myself after i step myself

all i would do is studies for my straight A'S

miss u andd slpp...

u wont hv to feel tat way by tat time

and ivy wont be heart broken seeing timo like tat

and and and

i will go back to the doctor

and hv my meals regularly...

so...

darling...

bear a few months more

at the same time..

chiong and jiayous for ur o's

ich leibedich

and thanks rofina for always being thr for mii