i have been chasing something/someone that doesn't belong to me,

or never will be....

why am i wasting my time??

i don't know

my brain calls me "dumbass" and ask me to move on

but my heart isn't ready to do so

i can close my eyes to whatever/whoever that i don't wish to see,

if only i could close my heart to whatever feelings i don't wish to feel :(

there is too much " what if" in my life recently....

i got to stop them

sooner or later

sometimes i wonder

do i really understand myself?

what i want,

or what really matters to me

i don't know

seriously~~

i must find my own north

someday

life is not suppose to be meaningless

i spent this long holiday wondering and thinking about loads of things

being one of the top student in singapore doesn't even excites me,

i am seriously wondering what is wrong with me?!!!

maybe i need to find something that is hard for me to achieve

set a target for myself??

but what do i really want???

fun??

laughter??

music??

books??

good question!

again,

i am wondering....

sometimes i want to meet obstacles

something that will keep my mind busy from thinking/ working

pleasing miss ang with proposals suddenly sounds like a great idea

i don't know what i am talking about,

but i seriously wish that O level is much more challenging than N level

at least i can occupy myself with studying,

if i find a need to it,

then i will ( i guess and i hope)

i wish things like studying,

even practicing piano is hard>.<

maybe i feel that way cause everything is too easy

i know i sound cocky,

even bustard

but seriously>.<

i am living my life without purpose,

and achieving a lot of things me,MYSELF

doesn't even feel proud of

i can say that my life is too screwed